Friday, August 17, 2007

No More Drama

Seven years ago when I have less friends in the office life was less complicated. Friends in this context are those outside of work, just a few of us hanging out for some fun once in a while. In those days, I have no worry about who I should be pleasing except myself. I’m not being self-centered but that’s what I felt then. Sad only when I was thinking about my past, stressed only when resolving work issues and extremely happy when good old friends came down for a visit. Other than that, life was good and very much simpler then. I go wherever I wish and do whatever I desire. Nobody cares to question me. As long as I don’t get others pissed off to get my work done, then it’s a good thing.

Nowadays, if anyone in the office saw me doing things out of the ordinary, they would not only speak among themselves but spread the word around. Don’t need a network for that, there’s a human wireless broadband in the office that does a wonderful job. It’s human nature to be curious with everything, especially things not related to them. The peculiar thing is that the same goes when I did something nice for them. They question your intention, not only words but their reaction said so. Doing something nice doesn’t mean I’m expecting something in return. I feel good when seeing a smile upon their faces. Isn’t that’s what friends do? Perhaps I’m not accustomed to the concept of friendship, the dos and the don’ts. Either I tend to go overboard or being too insensitive to their needs. Makes me wonder if they're faking all the while. If a nice gesture isn’t enough, I’m not sure what is.

When I care too much, I hurt myself. When I care less about them, they feel hurt. What happen if I don’t care at all? Do either of us get hurt? I can’t satisfy everyone, no one can. If doing things for them is not a good thing anymore, perhaps I should start doing my own things for a change. No more being overly sensitive to their needs. It’s time to think about myself, my priorities and prerogatives. Sorry Sisters, this time I’m doing things 4 Myself!

Note: Enclosed video clip is not related but the song is totally liberating!!

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