Monday, November 3, 2008

I'll Be Your Everything ...

I’ll Be Your Best Friend 
The one who holds your hand 
I’ll be true and never pretend 

I’ll Be Your Companion 
The one who truly concern 
I’m always there whenever you turn

I’ll Be Your Ears 
The one who washes away your tears 
I’ll fill your heart with joy and happiness 

I’ll Be Your Eyes 
The one who helps you get by
I’ll be someone you can always rely 

I’ll Be Your Shoulder 
The one who holds you so dear 
In my arms you feel no fear 

I’ll Be Your Bodyguard 
The one who looks after your heart 
I'll make sure no one tear it apart

I’ll Be Your Lover 
The one who satisfies your hunger 
We’ll be happy together forever 

I’ll Be Your Man 
The one who loves you till the end 
Beside you is where I stand 

I’ll Be Your Soulmate 
The one who’s willing to wait 
There’s never a moment too late 

I'll Be Your Valentine 
I’ll Be Yours … You’ll Be Mine 
We'll last till the end of time

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Perfect Ending ...



"I yearn for Perfect Ending even though there never was A Beginning ..."

Monday, September 29, 2008

She's A Super Woman ...

She’s a Great Friend
Who always lends a hand
Helping others to understand

She’s a Gifted Colleague
Who reaches to those in needs
There’s more to life indeed

She’s a Wonderful Companion
With pleasant conversation
Her words are an inspiration

She’s a Caring Mother
With compassion for each other
Her love touches one another

She’s an Elegant Lady
With a charming personality
Her words are so lovely

She’s a Super Woman
Who makes everyone sees
Beyond one could possibly be


This is dedicated to a wonderful someone who is a “Super Woman” in her own way … Happy Birthday Lara Dean”

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

7 Things About Me ...








 










7 Things I Dislike About Me 
1/ I tend to fall for someone I’m not supposed to 
2/ I hold on to someone for the wrong reason 
3/ I can’t let go off the past
4/ My instinct stinks 
5/ I’m resistant to changes 
6/ I never learn from my mistakes 
7/ I can forgive but hard to forget

7 Things I Love About Me 
1/ I don’t easily give up something that’s worth fighting for 
2/ When I care, I care deeply … when I love, I love truly 
3/ I love whoever loves me and ignore those who dislike me 
4/ I listen to myself more than what others think of me 
5/ I’ll find my way to survive anything 
6/ I avoid gossip, I avoid conflict … I avoid stress
7/ I don’t pretend … I stay true to myself & others . .

Miley Cyrus - 7 Things 
I probably shouldn't say this 
But at times I get so scared 
When I think about the previous
Relationship we've shared

It was awesome but we lost it 
It's no possible for me not to care 
Now we're standing in the rain 
But nothin's ever gonna change until you hear, my dear

The 7 things I hate about you
You're vain, you're games, you're insecure 
You love me, you like her 
You make me laugh, you make me cry 
I don't know which side to buy 
Your friends they're jerks 
And when you act like them, just know it hurts 
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do 
You make me love you

It's awkward and it's silent 
As I wait for you to say 
What I need to hear now 
Your sincere apology 
And when you mean it, I'll believe it 
If you text, I'll delete it 
Let's be clear I'm not coming back 
You're taking 7 steps here 

The 7 things I hate about you 
You're vain, you're games, you're insecure 
You love me, you like her 
You make me laugh, you make me cry 
I don't know which side to buy 
our friends they're jerks 
And when you act like them, just know it hurts 
I wanna be with the one I know 
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do 
You make me love you
 
Compared to all the great things 
That would take too long to write 
I probably should mention The 7 that I like
 
The 7 things I like about you 
Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's 
And when we kiss, I'm hypnotized 
You make me laugh, you make me cry 
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy 
Your hand in mine 
When we're intertwined everything's alright 
I wanna be with the one I know 
And the 7th thing I like the most that you do 
You make me love you

Saturday, September 20, 2008

With or Without You ...

Love isnt finding someone whom you can live with … its finding someone you can’t live without.

I came across above phrase from the internet recently, not sure why it caught my attention instantly. Perhaps it has something to do with myself constantly thinking about my soul mate. Whenever someone comes along, I always grab any opportunity to explore if that’s the person I should be with. How to know if she's “The One”? How to tell if I fall for the wrong one? Will I eventually find my soul mate? When it comes to love, I’m just too blind to sense the truth.

About 4 months ago, my friend planned for a weekend getaway in KL for a shopping spree. It was also a chance for us to spend time as she’s always busy with kids at home. On the way back the next day, we talked about random stuff. One of the things she asked was how I deal with my “feelings” these days. She knows that I’m attracted to female because she’s one of them, the one I truly love the most since 1996. She was uneasy with my confession but still accept me as long as we’re just friends. I agreed although at times it was hard to control my feelings. Anyway, I told her about "Elle Dee" who knew things about me, how it all started and badly ended. She told me to forget about "Elle Dee" and move on, which I already did. After our random talk, we listened to my songs playlist while casually chat. After about an hour later, “Rossa - Aku Bukan Untukmu” started playing and I felt a bit emotional as it reminded me of what happened with "Elle Dee". When seeing tears on my cheeks, she told me not to think about the past and look for what's ahead. She also asked me to shut off the player but I still insisted to listen. I was okay shortly after, probably just need a silent cry to let it out. We stopped chatting and after a while she fell sleep.

Just after Jawi, there was a car tail-gating us and continuously flashing. I wanted to switch lane but the gap between the cars is too near. Instead, I speed up ahead. Since there was a stretch of cars along the left lane, it took a while before I could get in. The car at the back suddenly kept honking, forcing me to quickly move aside. It woke her up instantly and shocked to see what happened. She was angry although I told her it was the other car who was very impatient to get through. Suddenly for some reason, she told me to drop her at Juru RnR instead of sending back home. I asked her why but she kept quiet and refused to talk or even look at me. I kept saying the tail-gating incident was not my fault. I asked how will she get home and what will her husband say? Still no answer. Then I asked if it was because I got emotional over a song that reminded me of someone else when I should focus on her instead? Instantly, she got angry. I can’t tell if that was a stupid assumption or it was the actual reason. Seeing how angry she was, I kept quiet for the rest of the journey. As soon as we reached Juru RnR, I asked again if this is what she really wanted. She said don’t bother asking, then quickly grabbed all her luggage and left me standing alone. I kept looking her way hoping she will turn around but never did. When she was out of sight, I drove off. The rest of the night felt like the longest ride home. 

Few days later, I tried to call her hoping that she would calmed down by then. I couldn't get through at all. I was totally disappointed with what I did. I don't know why I kept messing things up between us. I Should Have Know Better ... should have stopped listening to those stupid love songs in the first place. If only I kept quiet and do what she said without asking too much, things would turned out differently. It was only earlier this year she got in touch with me after been silent for 7 years. Now our friendship is ruined, I messed up something beautiful that could’ve been. I remembered something my late Dad used to say, “When God takes away something from us, He will give something better in return”. Perhaps there will be another chance for us again in future. While waiting for that day to happen, I’ll keep on living …

“ With or Without You … I Shall Live ”

U2 - With or Without You

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side 
I wait for you
 
Sleight of hand and twist of fate 
On a bed of nails she makes me wait 
And I wait without you 
With or without you
 
Through the storm we reach the shore 
You give it all but I want more 
And I'm waiting for you
 
With or without you 
I can't live 
With or without you
 
And you give yourself away 
And you give
And you give yourself away 

My hands are tied 
My body bruised, she's got me with 
Nothing to win and 
Nothing left to lose 

And you give yourself away 
And you give 
And you give yourself away 

With or without you ... I can't live

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Time to Say Goodbye ...

I hear the ticking of time passing by
Three painful months have gone by
No final words or last goodbye
Only memories to get me by

I feel sorrow and endless pain
Hurtful words linger in my head
There’s nothing left to be said
What I once felt is now dead

I see emptiness inside me
By myself as I chose to be
No more us … no more we
All I see is just plain me

I sense everything is now gone
It’s time for me to finally move on
No looking back or feeling regret
Certain things are meant to forget


“Time will Heal the Pain and I shall See Beautiful Days again.”

Monday, August 18, 2008

Bye Bye Baby Cactus

After Mama Cactus died earlier this year, a few of Baby Cactus siblings died 3 months ago. They died due to my own negligence. Mama died due to excessive water while the young ones died of dryness. Either way, love kills ... whether it's too much or too little.

 

Last week, the last baby that was left all alone finally died. I noticed that its body began to shrink a month ago. No matter how much I cared, it just won’t respond. It chose not to survive on its own. So I let it rest in peace. Fear not Baby Cactus, your close companion Shaun the Sheep (farewell gift from Shila) will never be alone. I’ve hooked him with a charming lad - Paul the Polar Bear. I promise you that they’ll be Friends for Life! I'm sorry Baby Cactus ...


Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Ayat Ayat Cinta

Apakah kau Ayat-Ayat Cinta … 
Mainan hati atau ungkapan sahaja 
Pernah sekali ku bermimpi tentangnya 
Bayangannya teramat luar biasa

Cantiknya kau Ayat-Ayat Cinta … 
Sesaat sahaja membutakan bicara 
Tiada kata setanding rupanya 
Tiada rupa seindah tutur katanya
 
Siapakah kau Ayat-Ayat Cinta … 
Cahaya matamu menyinari dada 
Bisikan suaramu memikat jiwa 
Kau umpama bidadari syurga

Wujudkah kau Ayat-Ayat Cinta …
Hingga kini tiada susulan ceritanya 
1001 persoalan bermain di kepala 
Bertanyakan misteri kata-katanya 

Dimanakah kau Ayat-Ayat Cinta … 
Di Selatan atau di Utara? 
Akan ku jejaki seluruh dunia 
Mencari kata-kata hatinya 

Bersedialah kau Ayat-Ayat Cinta … 
Pencarianku telah pun bermula 
Bakal tiba waktu kita bersama 
Hanya takdir yang menentukannya



Thursday, June 12, 2008

Apa Kata Hati ...

Apa Kata Hati … 
Naluri Lelaki membuatkan ku ingin dekati 
Ungkapan Dua Dunia tiada wujud di hati 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Lirikan matamu yang Paling Seksi
Gerak langkahmu seakan Elite G.I.G
Ooh La La! … kaulah idola lelaki 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Wajahmu berseri Bagaikan Puteri
Kaulah Teman Tapi Mesra lagi 
Inikah Cinta namanya di hati? 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Tempatmu selalu ku kunjungi 
Berulang kali setiap hari 
Tiada rasa jemu di hati 

Semakin lama kau ku kenali 
Semakin dekat rasa di hati 
Adakah kau yang ku cari? 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Tahun 1999 memisahkan kita pertama kali 
Tak Ku Duga kau ingin menyendiri 
Adakah salah ku sendiri? 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Tahun 2000 kau Pulang Kembali 
Mengubati Ruang Rindu di hati 
Tiada terkata riangnya hidup ini 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Tahun 2001 kau pergi buat kedua kali 
Asyik tertanya-tanya diriku ini 
Apakah aku yang bersalah lagi? 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Pinta doaku buat saban hari 
Tolong Jangan Pisahkan kami 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Setelah 7 tahun kau menyepi 
11 Januari 2008 baru kau kembali 
Kaulah hadiah terbaik di hari jadi 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Setelah wajahmu dapat ku tatapi 
Suaramu membuaiku berulang kali 
Kaulah yang paling memahami 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Bertahun lamanya baru ku mengerti 
Takkan Ada Cinta di dalam hati 
Hanya sayang terpendam selama ini 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Baru 4 bulan kita mula meniti 
Kasih Tercipta ini terputus kembali 
Tamparan katamu mengguris hati 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Dewi bukannya ‘Dealova’ yang ku mimpi 
Percayalah … bukan Dia yang ku nanti 
Hanya Kau yang terpahat di hati 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Sekian lama ku selami 
Akhirnya baru ku sedari 
Semua ini salah diriku sendiri 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Andai Ku Tahu kesudahannya begini 
Takkan ku curah segala emosi 
Ku rela pendam semuanya di hati 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Hancur sudah hatimu dilukai 
Ternyata aku bukan baik hati 
Ku MohonMaafkan diriku ini 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Sebulan sudah tiada kau hubungi 
Teringin sungguh ku ulangi 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Kemana saja langkahku pergi 
Bayanganmu sentiasa di sisi 
Perpisahan ini amat pilu sekali 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Teringin sekali kau ku dakapi 
Wajahmu ingin ku tatapi 
Buat kali terakhir sekali 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Setiap detik … setiap hari 
Tiada rasa dapat menandingi 
Kekesalan yang tersemat di hati 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Belaian Jiwa menghantui diri 
Perit rasanya hidup sebegini 
Mampukah aku bertahan lagi? 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Ternyata Aku Bukan Untukmu lagi 
Bukan Diriku yang kau senangi 
Biarpun hanya sebagai teman sejati 

Apa Kata Hati … 
My Heart akan ku bawa pergi 
Bersama Kekasih Gelapku sendiri 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Kini ku hanya Menghitung Hari 
Mana tahu … Mungkin Nanti 
Kesalahanku bakal kau maafi 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Semua Tentang Kita tiada bererti lagi 
Atas Nama Cinta ku melepaskan kau pergi 
Pergilah Sayang … ku merelakan semua ini 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Setelah 12 tahun lamanya kita harungi 
Terpaksa jua ku ucapi kata-kata ini 
Salam Terakhir buat kau yang disayangi 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Sebelum kakiku melangkah pergi 
Izinkan Ku pinta terakhir sekali 
Biarlah Rahsia epilog Cinta ini 

Apa Kata Hati … 
Hati Ini tiada terdaya lagi 
Vida’ kini tiada bernyawa lagi 

Apa Kata Hati … 
I’m Sorry Goodbye adalah realiti 
Takkan terjawab soalan di hati
Bisakah aku bertemu ‘Destiny’?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Moron in Me ...

Dear Woman

I never thought last Sunday was a Wake Up Call for me. No matter how much I Won’t Go Home that night, the truth finally speaks itself ... Nothing Lasts Forever

All these years, I keep coming Back At Your Door and it Makes Me Wonder if I really Fell In Love With You. I finally realized that it was only an infatuation ... I love you as a friend instead. Fear not, what we shared during our weekend rendezvous will remain a Secret

There’s no doubt that I’m the reason our friendship is Falling Apart. Trust me, it’s Harder To Breathe knowing that I’ll Never See Your Face Again. I’m not saying it’s Better That We Break. The truth is, I’m still not Through With You

This may not be the Sweetest Goodbye but it would be for the best. For what it’s worth, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had … you accept me for who I really am and I cherish that for life. 

Someday ... I Will Be Loved. I’m sorry for everything. Take care ...

- Not a girl, not a Woman -
< M5 >

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Emancipation of Me ...

Jacques Pierre Theory

Where:

E = Emancipation

M = Me

M' = MyBaby

E' = 'Elle Dee' (Lara Dean)



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear 'Elle Dee' ... 


For The Record, I wished for an ‘us’ but I gave up after you left to give MyBaby a chance. 

Bye ByeI Wish You Well.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------

Dear MyBaby ...

You used to Touch My heart with your Emotions Whenever You Call … I was your Hero for those special moments. You made me believed We Belong Together but it seemed that You Don’t Remember when I said Don’t Forget About Us. I once told myself that you will Always Be My Baby but it turned out to be a Fantasy

Do You Know Where we’re going to? I certainly don’t have a clue. Without You, Everything Fades Away and I’ve to give you up even if I still Can’t Let Go. I Don’t Wanna Cry … I just want to Make It Through The Rain and cease the pain

Hasta La Vista MyBaby … Last Kiss 4U. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------

Dear Me,

Love Takes TimeIt’s Like That. You’ll be together with your Dream Lover One Sweet Day. She may be a Heartbreaker years ago but she’s all you ever have that makes you want to Stay In Love. She’s that special someone whom you would love to call Sweetheart or just plain Honey … 

Do what it takes to realize this Vision of Love into a Love Story Someday. You can Make It Happen When You Believe in yourself. Never Forget You are your own Hero

C’est La Vie

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Alone ...

I just can’t stop bleeding for the last few months. Couple of my close friends keep leaving. They come and go just like a flowing river … no one stays for good. I don’t mind the distance but I do mind the silence after separation, eventually they'll fade away. I have to keep myself busy to disregard the misery within. All I want to do is to stop bleeding and start living. 

The truth is they weren’t meant for me from beginning. I was lying to myself. I wanted so much to be with whoever I thought would be ‘the one’, but none of them ever was. I even convinced myself that I’m capable to love them and be loved in return. But love was never there, it was more of a lie instead. I made myself believed they needed me when I’m the one who needed them the most. 

I’m not sure if I’ll find that someone in this life. Maybe I’m not capable to go through any kind of relationship. That’s why I’m not blessed with one yet. But I’m not willing to go through life alone. I really want someone to be there for me, someone who wants me as much as I want her. There’s no right or wrong, just as long as we can get along. What matters most is we both compliment each other. I pray someday ‘The One’ will come and lead me the way.

Dear Love, 
Come to me … Hold me close.
Take my hand … Never let me go. 
XOXO 

Celine Dion - Alone
I hear the ticking of the clock
I'm lying here, the room's pitch dark 
I wonder where you are tonight 
No answer on the telephone 
And the night goes by so very slow 
Oh I hope that it won't end though 
Alone 

Till now I always got by on my own 
I never really cared until I met you 
And now it chills me to the bone 
How do I get you alone 

You don't know how long i have wanted 
To touch your lips and hold you tight 
You don't know how long I have waited 
And I was going to tell you tonight 
But the secret is still my own 
And my love for you is still unknown 
Alone 

Till now I always got by on my own 
I never really cared until I met you 
And now it chills me to the bone 
How do I get you alone
Alone

Monday, March 31, 2008

MyBaby n Me ...

The first time I saw MyBaby 
MyBaby looks so pretty 
I can’t resist looking at MyBaby

Each time I glance at MyBaby
Her sweet smile greets Me 
MyBaby never fail to amaze Me 

Whenever I talk to MyBaby
Her kind words comfort Me 
With MyBaby is where I want to be 

Wherever I go with MyBaby
Everyone looks queerly at Me 
They wonder why MyBaby likes Me 

Spending time with MyBaby
Makes Me extremely happy 
My days no longer feel empty 

There’s nothing about MyBaby 
That makes Me feel uneasy 
Everything about MyBaby pleases Me 

Anytime MyBaby needs Me 
I’m there to care for MyBaby
I can’t see MyBaby in agony 

Sometimes I buy gift for MyBaby
To show how much MyBaby means to Me 
I just can’t stop loving MyBaby

At times MyBaby is mad at Me 
For taking things too seriously 
It’s only moments before MyBaby forgives Me 

There’s something about MyBaby 
That always drives Me crazy 
Until today it’s still a mystery 

One day I share secrets with MyBaby
It takes time but MyBaby still accepts Me 
Only then I trust no one but MyBaby

Now MyBaby has to leave Me 
But I can’t let MyBaby see 
Deep inside I’m in total misery 

I want MyBaby to stay with Me 
I can’t live without MyBaby
I wish MyBaby comes back to Me 

MyBaby said she’ll miss Me 
I can’t help but cried with MyBaby
Now I know MyBaby cares for Me 

I’m sorry if I was unfaithful to MyBaby
I never meant to hurt MyBaby intentionally 
MyBaby … please forgive Me 

I pray that MyBaby stays happy 
In my heart is where MyBaby will be 
All I ask is MyBaby to remember Me 

Take care MyBaby
Fear not MyBaby
‘WE’ will survive … trust Me  

I miss you MyBaby
I love you MyBaby
‘WE’ = MyBaby Me

XOXO

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentine, Valentine … Wherefore art thou Valentine?

That Vision Of You remains in my mind until today

Beautiful Girl … you’re a Masterpiece of art
You
Paint My Love right from the start

I’ve Been Waiting For YouAll My Life
Your
Love Is the only thing that keeps me alive

I’ve loved you since
The First Time I saw you
Everyday I Love YouThis I Promise You

You Come To My Senses all along
Right
By Your Side is where I belong

I can’t help but
Dreaming Of You all the while
Memory of you makes the dream worthwhile

My Heart says that you’re My Boo
My Baby YouI Just Can’t Stop Loving You

DewiI Miss You so much my dear
I Still Believe that We Belong Together

All I Ask Of You is You Must Love Me
There’ll be
A Time For Us someday … You’ll See

With or Without You … I will Wait For You
I Love You and I’ll Stand By You

I’ll be
Kissing You one fine day
Ready Or Not … I’ll do it my way

Angel of Mine … you’re so divine
Would you be
My Valentine?

I Adore Me AmorTu Amor

Ne Me Quitte PasA Puro Dolor