Monday, September 29, 2008

She's A Super Woman ...

She’s a Great Friend
Who always lends a hand
Helping others to understand

She’s a Gifted Colleague
Who reaches to those in needs
There’s more to life indeed

She’s a Wonderful Companion
With pleasant conversation
Her words are an inspiration

She’s a Caring Mother
With compassion for each other
Her love touches one another

She’s an Elegant Lady
With a charming personality
Her words are so lovely

She’s a Super Woman
Who makes everyone sees
Beyond one could possibly be


This is dedicated to a wonderful someone who is a “Super Woman” in her own way … Happy Birthday Lara Dean”

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

7 Things About Me ...








 










7 Things I Dislike About Me 
1/ I tend to fall for someone I’m not supposed to 
2/ I hold on to someone for the wrong reason 
3/ I can’t let go off the past
4/ My instinct stinks 
5/ I’m resistant to changes 
6/ I never learn from my mistakes 
7/ I can forgive but hard to forget

7 Things I Love About Me 
1/ I don’t easily give up something that’s worth fighting for 
2/ When I care, I care deeply … when I love, I love truly 
3/ I love whoever loves me and ignore those who dislike me 
4/ I listen to myself more than what others think of me 
5/ I’ll find my way to survive anything 
6/ I avoid gossip, I avoid conflict … I avoid stress
7/ I don’t pretend … I stay true to myself & others . .

Miley Cyrus - 7 Things 
I probably shouldn't say this 
But at times I get so scared 
When I think about the previous
Relationship we've shared

It was awesome but we lost it 
It's no possible for me not to care 
Now we're standing in the rain 
But nothin's ever gonna change until you hear, my dear

The 7 things I hate about you
You're vain, you're games, you're insecure 
You love me, you like her 
You make me laugh, you make me cry 
I don't know which side to buy 
Your friends they're jerks 
And when you act like them, just know it hurts 
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do 
You make me love you

It's awkward and it's silent 
As I wait for you to say 
What I need to hear now 
Your sincere apology 
And when you mean it, I'll believe it 
If you text, I'll delete it 
Let's be clear I'm not coming back 
You're taking 7 steps here 

The 7 things I hate about you 
You're vain, you're games, you're insecure 
You love me, you like her 
You make me laugh, you make me cry 
I don't know which side to buy 
our friends they're jerks 
And when you act like them, just know it hurts 
I wanna be with the one I know 
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do 
You make me love you
 
Compared to all the great things 
That would take too long to write 
I probably should mention The 7 that I like
 
The 7 things I like about you 
Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's 
And when we kiss, I'm hypnotized 
You make me laugh, you make me cry 
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy 
Your hand in mine 
When we're intertwined everything's alright 
I wanna be with the one I know 
And the 7th thing I like the most that you do 
You make me love you

Saturday, September 20, 2008

With or Without You ...

Love isnt finding someone whom you can live with … its finding someone you can’t live without.

I came across above phrase from the internet recently, not sure why it caught my attention instantly. Perhaps it has something to do with myself constantly thinking about my soul mate. Whenever someone comes along, I always grab any opportunity to explore if that’s the person I should be with. How to know if she's “The One”? How to tell if I fall for the wrong one? Will I eventually find my soul mate? When it comes to love, I’m just too blind to sense the truth.

About 4 months ago, my friend planned for a weekend getaway in KL for a shopping spree. It was also a chance for us to spend time as she’s always busy with kids at home. On the way back the next day, we talked about random stuff. One of the things she asked was how I deal with my “feelings” these days. She knows that I’m attracted to female because she’s one of them, the one I truly love the most since 1996. She was uneasy with my confession but still accept me as long as we’re just friends. I agreed although at times it was hard to control my feelings. Anyway, I told her about "Elle Dee" who knew things about me, how it all started and badly ended. She told me to forget about "Elle Dee" and move on, which I already did. After our random talk, we listened to my songs playlist while casually chat. After about an hour later, “Rossa - Aku Bukan Untukmu” started playing and I felt a bit emotional as it reminded me of what happened with "Elle Dee". When seeing tears on my cheeks, she told me not to think about the past and look for what's ahead. She also asked me to shut off the player but I still insisted to listen. I was okay shortly after, probably just need a silent cry to let it out. We stopped chatting and after a while she fell sleep.

Just after Jawi, there was a car tail-gating us and continuously flashing. I wanted to switch lane but the gap between the cars is too near. Instead, I speed up ahead. Since there was a stretch of cars along the left lane, it took a while before I could get in. The car at the back suddenly kept honking, forcing me to quickly move aside. It woke her up instantly and shocked to see what happened. She was angry although I told her it was the other car who was very impatient to get through. Suddenly for some reason, she told me to drop her at Juru RnR instead of sending back home. I asked her why but she kept quiet and refused to talk or even look at me. I kept saying the tail-gating incident was not my fault. I asked how will she get home and what will her husband say? Still no answer. Then I asked if it was because I got emotional over a song that reminded me of someone else when I should focus on her instead? Instantly, she got angry. I can’t tell if that was a stupid assumption or it was the actual reason. Seeing how angry she was, I kept quiet for the rest of the journey. As soon as we reached Juru RnR, I asked again if this is what she really wanted. She said don’t bother asking, then quickly grabbed all her luggage and left me standing alone. I kept looking her way hoping she will turn around but never did. When she was out of sight, I drove off. The rest of the night felt like the longest ride home. 

Few days later, I tried to call her hoping that she would calmed down by then. I couldn't get through at all. I was totally disappointed with what I did. I don't know why I kept messing things up between us. I Should Have Know Better ... should have stopped listening to those stupid love songs in the first place. If only I kept quiet and do what she said without asking too much, things would turned out differently. It was only earlier this year she got in touch with me after been silent for 7 years. Now our friendship is ruined, I messed up something beautiful that could’ve been. I remembered something my late Dad used to say, “When God takes away something from us, He will give something better in return”. Perhaps there will be another chance for us again in future. While waiting for that day to happen, I’ll keep on living …

“ With or Without You … I Shall Live ”

U2 - With or Without You

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side 
I wait for you
 
Sleight of hand and twist of fate 
On a bed of nails she makes me wait 
And I wait without you 
With or without you
 
Through the storm we reach the shore 
You give it all but I want more 
And I'm waiting for you
 
With or without you 
I can't live 
With or without you
 
And you give yourself away 
And you give
And you give yourself away 

My hands are tied 
My body bruised, she's got me with 
Nothing to win and 
Nothing left to lose 

And you give yourself away 
And you give 
And you give yourself away 

With or without you ... I can't live

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Time to Say Goodbye ...

I hear the ticking of time passing by
Three painful months have gone by
No final words or last goodbye
Only memories to get me by

I feel sorrow and endless pain
Hurtful words linger in my head
There’s nothing left to be said
What I once felt is now dead

I see emptiness inside me
By myself as I chose to be
No more us … no more we
All I see is just plain me

I sense everything is now gone
It’s time for me to finally move on
No looking back or feeling regret
Certain things are meant to forget


“Time will Heal the Pain and I shall See Beautiful Days again.”