Saturday, June 13, 2015

I'm Truly Sorry ...

Dear NS …

The reason I'm writing is because it's been years since we last contact. I still feel guilty for what I did unintentionally and caused all those unnecessary stress … never meant to hurt you in anyway.

We have a history together, we’ve known each other for so long ever since started working. We had lots of good memories, fun and crazy moments. You have always been a good friend since the day I met you. You’re so good at connecting people and getting them together. You love to share anything and everything that fascinates you, from current trends to latest technology. Everyone is simply drawn towards your cheeky and chatty attitude. You have a certain aura, a charming personality that makes people love just to be around you. You opened up my mind into a whole new world, it felt so amazing and never seem bored. In other words, you have that “Je Ne Sais Quoi” that never failed to amaze me. Never thought that one day I'll never get to see those wonderful things about you. It's my fault and I hate myself being a stranger to you.

I admit it was wrong of me to inform our mates about you leaving. I was concerned about you like I always do with all my close friends. I didn't realized that you had your own way of dealing such situation. I'm sorry for crossing the line, never meant to cause any discomfort to you at all. I still remember when we accidentally met last year at the condo ... you were surprised to see me. I was too, totally unexpected to bump into you that day. We went for lunch and had a very long talk. While walking back to the condo, you shared all of your frustrations. I endlessly tried to explain myself why I did those things, not to justify my actions but to let you know that I truly care about you and begging for your forgiveness. The look on your face those last moments told me that was it ... I'll never be able to see you again after that. No amount of words is enough to express my regrets. Seriously, I just can't stop myself saying sorry after our last goodbye. All my life, I have never felt that emotional with anyone before. Never cried that hard for any of my friends, I lost words of what I want to say and my heart felt deeply hurt knowing that will be the last time I get to see you. Don't know if you will ever forgive me someday.

You were right about me don’t actually understand your situation. Only after I experienced going thru vss since a year ago, I really felt what you once felt. I was in a bad place during the first few months with feeling lost, despair & uncertain all the time. The anxiety left me restless every single day and night. Going through all alone, I felt totally useless and clueless of how I was going to cope. Now I’m more or less feeling settled with less expectations in life and living the most simplest way.

I don't want our friendship to end because of my stupid mistakes. I sincerely beg for your forgiveness. I truly pray that someday I'll see you again.

Please Forgive Me …

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