Saturday, April 5, 2008

Alone ...

I just can’t stop bleeding for the last few months. Close friends of mine keep leaving me. They come and go just like a flowing river … no one stays for good. I don’t mind the distance but I do mind the silence after the separation. They keep their distance and eventually will fade away in time. Their departure left me feeling sober. I just have to keep myself busy to disregard the misery within. All I want to do is to stop bleeding in love and start living.

It’s time to face the truth, they weren’t meant for me, even from the beginning. I was lying to myself since I was longing for someone to feel close. I wanted so much to be with whoever I thought would be ‘the one’, but none of them ever was. I even convinced myself that I’m capable to love them and be loved in return. But love was never there at all, it was more of a lie instead. I made myself believed that they needed me when I’m the one who needed them the most. I lied to myself to deny the basic truth but I never lie about what I feel for them. I still feel the way I do no matter what I did to forget.

Now I’m very much in doubt if I’ll ever find that someone in this life. Probably, I’m incapable to sustain through any kind of relationship. That’s the reason why I’m not blessed with one yet. However, I’m not willing to go through life alone. I want someone to be there for me … someone who wants and needs me as much as I do about her. There’s no right or wrong, just as long as we both can get along. What matters the most is that we both compliment each other.

I wish that love will come and lead me the way that it should be. I pray that ‘The One’ or to be precise, ‘The Right One’ will step into my life and free me from misery. I basically want to feel what love is all about, not just some fairytale that I fantasized, but a true spiritual moment that we love to share. It doesn’t have to be the greatest of all … just a simple kind of life that blends us together. Let’s take a chance to create our path and determine our destiny as one.

Dear Love,
Come to me … Hold me close.
Take my hand … Never let me go.

XOXO

Celine Dion - Alone

I hear the ticking of the clock
I'm lying here, the room's pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight
No answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow
Oh I hope that it won't end though
Alone

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone

You don't know how long i have wanted
To touch your lips and hold you tight
You don't know how long I have waited
And I was going to tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
And my love for you is still unknown
Alone

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
Alone

2 comments:

bluewicca_9 said...

Morning there:

You and I feel more or less the same about love, friends, relationships. Maybe, and if you really wish, we could be friends. When I offer my friendship to someone I consider i am giving a gift. I have been blessed with some marvellous friends, so I want to bless your life with my existance.

Yesterday a miracle happened to me. Someone I loved, who has gone, and seems that he didn't care, actually cares too much but he still doesn't understand it. Yesterday he phoned, we could apologize to each other, we knew we can't live without each other's affection, even although he doesn't want to be my boyfriend anymore, but something very strong, stronger than I though, exist between the two of us. For the first time in my life, something I wished for, came to me, after I asked the Goddess to heal my heart and send true love to me. my e-mail is you want to write on regular basis: bluewicca_9@yahoo.co.uk, so feel free. I would liek to send you something I found that gave me strenght, so it can give you stength too.

Lots of love although I dont know you....

Jacques Pierre said...

Hi there. Thank you for your kind words. I’m flattered with your friendship gift. Perhaps, I’ll write to you someday.

I’m glad that he came back to you. He must’ve felt totally lost without you … you’re his guiding light.

I believe that miracle happens. All we have to do is always be true to our-self and others. What goes around, comes around and that what I’m hoping for, waiting for my true love to come back to me. She may not realize it but she's the one for me.

Take care & lots of luv to you too.
JP