I'll Be Your Everything ...

I’ll Be Your Best Friend 

The one who holds your hand 

I’ll be true and never pretend 

I’ll Be Your Companion 

The one who truly concern 

I’m always there whenever you turn

I’ll Be Your Ears 

The one who washes away your tears 

I’ll fill your heart with joy and happiness 

I’ll Be Your Eyes 

The one who helps you get by

I’ll be someone you can always rely 

I’ll Be Your Shoulder 

The one who holds you so dear 

In my arms you feel no fear 

I’ll Be Your Bodyguard 

The one who looks after your heart 

I'll make sure no one tear it apart

I’ll Be Your Lover 

The one who satisfies your hunger 

We’ll be happy together forever 

I’ll Be Your Man 

The one who loves you till the end 

Beside you is where I stand 

I’ll Be Your Soulmate 

The one who’s willing to wait 

There’s never a moment too late 

I'll Be Your Valentine 

I’ll Be Yours … You’ll Be Mine 

We'll last till the end of time

Perfect Ending ...

"I yearn for Perfect Ending even though there never was A Beginning ..."

She's A Super Woman ...

She’s a Great Friend
Who always lends a hand
Helping others to understand

She’s a Gifted Colleague
Who reaches to those in needs
There’s more to life indeed

She’s a Wonderful Companion
With pleasant conversation
Her words are an inspiration

She’s a Caring Mother
With compassion for each other
Her love touches one another

She’s an Elegant Lady
With a charming personality
Her words are so lovely

She’s a Super Woman
Who makes everyone sees

Beyond one could possibly be

This is dedicated to a wonderful someone who is a “Super Woman” in her own way … Happy Birthday “Lara Dean”

7 Things About Me ...

 

7 Things I Dislike About Me 

1/ I tend to fall for someone I’m not supposed to 

2/ I hold on to someone for the wrong reason 

3/ I can’t let go off the past

4/ My instinct stinks 

5/ I’m resistant to changes 

6/ I never learn from my mistakes 

7/ I can forgive but hard to forget

7 Things I Love About Me 

1/ I don’t easily give up something that’s worth fighting for 

2/ When I care, I care deeply … when I love, I love truly 

3/ I love whoever loves me and ignore those who dislike me 

4/ I listen to myself more than what others think of me 

5/ I’ll find my way to survive anything 

6/ I avoid gossip, I avoid conflict … I avoid stress

7/ I don’t pretend … I stay true to myself & others . .

Miley Cyrus - 7 Things 

I probably shouldn't say this 

But at times I get so scared 

When I think about the previous

Relationship we've shared

It was awesome but we lost it 

It's no possible for me not to care 

Now we're standing in the rain 

But nothin's ever gonna change until you hear, my dear

The 7 things I hate about you

You're vain, you're games, you're insecure 

You love me, you like her 

You make me laugh, you make me cry 

I don't know which side to buy 

Your friends they're jerks 

And when you act like them, just know it hurts 

I wanna be with the one I know

And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do 

You make me love you

It's awkward and it's silent 

As I wait for you to say 

What I need to hear now 

Your sincere apology 

And when you mean it, I'll believe it 

If you text, I'll delete it 

Let's be clear I'm not coming back 

You're taking 7 steps here 

The 7 things I hate about you 

You're vain, you're games, you're insecure 

You love me, you like her 

You make me laugh, you make me cry 

I don't know which side to buy 

our friends they're jerks 

And when you act like them, just know it hurts 

I wanna be with the one I know 

And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do 

You make me love you

 

Compared to all the great things 

That would take too long to write 

I probably should mention The 7 that I like

 

The 7 things I like about you 

Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's 

And when we kiss, I'm hypnotized 

You make me laugh, you make me cry 

But I guess that's both I'll have to buy 

Your hand in mine 

When we're intertwined everything's alright 

I wanna be with the one I know 

And the 7th thing I like the most that you do 

You make me love you

With or Without You ...

“Love isn’t finding someone whom you can live with … it’s finding someone you can’t live without.”

I came across above phrase from the internet recently, not sure why it caught my attention instantly. Perhaps it has something to do with myself constantly thinking about my soul mate. Whenever someone comes along, I always grab any opportunity to explore if that’s the person I should be with. How to know if she's “The One”? How to tell if I fall for the wrong one? Will I eventually find my soul mate? When it comes to love, I’m just too blind to sense the truth.

About 4 months ago, my friend planned for a weekend getaway in KL for a shopping spree. It was also a chance for us to spend time as she’s always busy with kids at home. On the way back the next day, we talked about random stuff. One of the things she asked was how I deal with my “feelings” these days. She knows that I’m attracted to female because she’s one of them, the one I truly love the most since 1996. She was uneasy with my confession but still accept me as long as we’re just friends. I agreed although at times it was hard to control my feelings. Anyway, I told her about "Elle Dee" who knew things about me, how it all started and badly ended. She told me to forget about "Elle Dee" and move on, which I already did. After our random talk, we listened to my songs playlist while casually chat. After about an hour later, “Rossa - Aku Bukan Untukmu” started playing and I felt a bit emotional as it reminded me of what happened with "Elle Dee". When seeing tears on my cheeks, she told me not to think about the past and look for what's ahead. She also asked me to shut off the player but I still insisted to listen. I was okay shortly after, probably just need a silent cry to let it out. We stopped chatting and after a while she fell sleep.

Just after Jawi, there was a car tail-gating us and continuously flashing. I wanted to switch lane but the gap between the cars is too near. Instead, I speed up ahead. Since there was a stretch of cars along the left lane, it took a while before I could get in. The car at the back suddenly kept honking, forcing me to quickly move aside. It woke her up instantly and shocked to see what happened. She was angry although I told her it was the other car who was very impatient to get through. Suddenly for some reason, she told me to drop her at Juru RnR instead of sending back home. I asked her why but she kept quiet and refused to talk or even look at me. I kept saying the tail-gating incident was not my fault. I asked how will she get home and what will her husband say? Still no answer. Then I asked if it was because I got emotional over a song that reminded me of someone else when I should focus on her instead? Instantly, she got angry. I can’t tell if that was a stupid assumption or it was the actual reason. Seeing how angry she was, I kept quiet for the rest of the journey. As soon as we reached Juru RnR, I asked again if this is what she really wanted. She said don’t bother asking, then quickly grabbed all her luggage and left me standing alone. I kept looking her way hoping she will turn around but never did. When she was out of sight, I drove off. The rest of the night felt like the longest ride home. 

Few days later, I tried to call her hoping that she would calmed down by then. I couldn't get through at all. I was totally disappointed with what I did. I don't know why I kept messing things up between us. I Should Have Know Better ... should have stopped listening to those stupid love songs in the first place. If only I kept quiet and do what she said without asking too much, things would turned out differently. It was only earlier this year she got in touch with me after been silent for 7 years. Now our friendship is ruined, I messed up something beautiful that could’ve been. I remembered something my late Dad used to say, “When God takes away something from us, He will give something better in return”. Perhaps there will be another chance for us again in future. While waiting for that day to happen, I’ll keep on living …

“ With or Without You … I Shall Live ”

U2 - With or Without You

See the stone set in your eyes

See the thorn twist in your side 

I wait for you

 

Sleight of hand and twist of fate 

On a bed of nails she makes me wait 

And I wait without you 

With or without you

 

Through the storm we reach the shore 

You give it all but I want more 

And I'm waiting for you

 

With or without you 

I can't live 

With or without you

 

And you give yourself away 

And you give

And you give yourself away 

My hands are tied 

My body bruised, she's got me with 

Nothing to win and 

Nothing left to lose 

And you give yourself away 

And you give 

And you give yourself away 

With or without you ... I can't live

Time to Say Goodbye ...

I hear the ticking of time passing by
Three painful months have gone by
No final words or last goodbye
Only memories to get me by

I feel sorrow and endless pain
Hurtful words linger in my head
There’s nothing left to be said
What I once felt is now dead

I see emptiness inside me
By myself as I chose to be
No more us … no more we
All I see is just plain me

I sense everything is now gone
It’s time for me to finally move on
No looking back or feeling regret
Certain things are meant to forget

“Time will Heal the Pain and I shall See Beautiful Days again.”

Bye Bye Baby Cactus

After Mama Cactus died earlier this year, a few of Baby Cactus siblings died 3 months ago. They died due to my own negligence. Mama died due to excessive water while the young ones died of dryness. Either way, love kills ... whether it's too much or too little.

 

Last week, the last baby that was left all alone finally died. I noticed that its body began to shrink a month ago. No matter how much I cared, it just won’t respond. It chose not to survive on its own. So I let it rest in peace. Fear not Baby Cactus, your close companion Shaun the Sheep (farewell gift from Shila) will never be alone. I’ve hooked him with a charming lad - Paul the Polar Bear. I promise you that they’ll be Friends for Life! I'm sorry Baby Cactus ...

Ayat Ayat Cinta

Apakah kau Ayat-Ayat Cinta … 

Mainan hati atau ungkapan sahaja 

Pernah sekali ku bermimpi tentangnya 

Bayangannya teramat luar biasa

Cantiknya kau Ayat-Ayat Cinta … 

Sesaat sahaja membutakan bicara 

Tiada kata setanding rupanya 

Tiada rupa seindah tutur katanya

 

Siapakah kau Ayat-Ayat Cinta … 

Cahaya matamu menyinari dada 

Bisikan suaramu memikat jiwa 

Kau umpama bidadari syurga

Wujudkah kau Ayat-Ayat Cinta …

Hingga kini tiada susulan ceritanya 

1001 persoalan bermain di kepala 

Bertanyakan misteri kata-katanya 

Dimanakah kau Ayat-Ayat Cinta … 

Di Selatan atau di Utara? 

Akan ku jejaki seluruh dunia 

Mencari kata-kata hatinya 

Bersedialah kau Ayat-Ayat Cinta … 

Pencarianku telah pun bermula 

Bakal tiba waktu kita bersama 

Hanya takdir yang menentukannya

Apa Kata Hati ...

Apa Kata Hati … 

Tahun 1996 menemukan kita pertama kali 

Naluri Lelaki membuatkan ku ingin dekati 

Ungkapan Dua Dunia tiada wujud di hati 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Lirikan matamu yang Paling Seksi

Gerak langkahmu seakan Elite G.I.G

Ooh La La! … kaulah idola lelaki 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Wajahmu berseri Bagaikan Puteri

Kaulah Teman Tapi Mesra lagi 

Inikah Cinta namanya di hati? 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Tempatmu selalu ku kunjungi 

Berulang kali setiap hari 

Tiada rasa jemu di hati 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Semakin lama kau ku kenali 

Semakin dekat rasa di hati 

Adakah kau yang ku cari? 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Tahun 1999 memisahkan kita pertama kali 

Tak Ku Duga kau ingin menyendiri 

Adakah salah ku sendiri? 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Tahun 2000 kau Pulang Kembali 

Mengubati Ruang Rindu di hati 

Tiada terkata riangnya hidup ini 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Tahun 2001 kau pergi buat kedua kali 

Asyik tertanya-tanya diriku ini 

Apakah aku yang bersalah lagi? 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Pinta doaku buat saban hari 

Tolong Jangan Pisahkan kami 

Kaulah Segalanya di hati 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Setelah 7 tahun kau menyepi 

11 Januari 2008 baru kau kembali 

Kaulah hadiah terbaik di hari jadi 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Setelah wajahmu dapat ku tatapi 

Suaramu membuaiku berulang kali 

Kaulah yang paling memahami 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Bertahun lamanya baru ku mengerti 

Takkan Ada Cinta di dalam hati 

Hanya sayang terpendam selama ini 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Baru 4 bulan kita mula meniti 

Kasih Tercipta ini terputus kembali 

Tamparan katamu mengguris hati 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Dewi bukannya ‘Dealova’ yang ku mimpi 

Percayalah … bukan Dia yang ku nanti 

Hanya Kau yang terpahat di hati 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Sekian lama ku selami 

Akhirnya baru ku sedari 

Semua ini salah diriku sendiri 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Andai Ku Tahu kesudahannya begini 

Takkan ku curah segala emosi 

Ku rela pendam semuanya di hati 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Hancur sudah hatimu dilukai 

Ternyata aku bukan baik hati 

Ku Mohon … Maafkan diriku ini 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Sebulan sudah tiada kau hubungi 

Teringin sungguh ku ulangi 

Kenangan Terindah di bulan Januari 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Kemana saja langkahku pergi 

Bayanganmu sentiasa di sisi 

Perpisahan ini amat pilu sekali 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Teringin sekali kau ku dakapi 

Wajahmu ingin ku tatapi 

Buat kali terakhir sekali 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Setiap detik … setiap hari 

Tiada rasa dapat menandingi 

Kekesalan yang tersemat di hati 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Belaian Jiwa menghantui diri 

Perit rasanya hidup sebegini 

Mampukah aku bertahan lagi? 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Ternyata Aku Bukan Untukmu lagi 

Bukan Diriku yang kau senangi 

Biarpun hanya sebagai teman sejati 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Berhenti Berharap diri ini 

My Heart akan ku bawa pergi 

Bersama Kekasih Gelapku sendiri 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Kini ku hanya Menghitung Hari 

Mana tahu … Mungkin Nanti 

Kesalahanku bakal kau maafi 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Semua Tentang Kita tiada bererti lagi 

Atas Nama Cinta ku melepaskan kau pergi 

Pergilah Sayang … ku merelakan semua ini 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Setelah 12 tahun lamanya kita harungi 

Terpaksa jua ku ucapi kata-kata ini 

Salam Terakhir buat kau yang disayangi 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Sebelum kakiku melangkah pergi 

Izinkan Ku pinta terakhir sekali 

Biarlah Rahsia epilog Cinta ini 

Apa Kata Hati … 

Tak Sanggup ku Terlalu Cinta lagi 

Hati Ini tiada terdaya lagi 

‘Vida’ kini tiada bernyawa lagi 

Apa Kata Hati … 

I’m Sorry Goodbye adalah realiti 

Takkan terjawab soalan di hati

… Bisakah aku bertemu ‘Destiny’?

< Apa Kata Hati Naz … >

Moron in Me ...

Dear Woman, 

I never thought last Sunday was a Wake Up Call for me. No matter how much I Won’t Go Home that night, the truth finally speaks itself ... Nothing Lasts Forever. 

All these years, I keep coming Back At Your Door and it Makes Me Wonder if I really Fell In Love With You. I finally realized that it was only an infatuation ... I love you as a friend instead. Fear not, what we shared during our weekend rendezvous will remain a Secret. 

There’s no doubt that I’m the reason our friendship is Falling Apart. Trust me, it’s Harder To Breathe knowing that I’ll Never See Your Face Again. I’m not saying it’s Better That We Break. The truth is, I’m still not Through With You. 

This may not be the Sweetest Goodbye but it would be for the best. For what it’s worth, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had … you accept me for who I really am and I cherish that for life. 

Someday ... I Will Be Loved. I’m sorry for everything. Take care ...

- Not a girl, not a Woman -

< M5 >

Emancipation of Me ...

Jacques Pierre Theory

E = M - (M'E')

Where:

E = Emancipation

M = Me

M' = MyBaby

E' = 'Elle Dee' (Lara Dean)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear 'Elle Dee' ... 

I’m sorry if I ever Say Something to indicate that I Still Believe We Belong Together. My, All I’ve Ever Wanted was to Be There … Anytime You Need A Friend. 

For The Record, I wished for an ‘us’ but I gave up after you left to give MyBaby a chance. 

Bye Bye … I Wish You Well.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear MyBaby ...

You used to Touch My heart with your Emotions Whenever You Call … I was your Hero for those special moments. You made me believed We Belong Together but it seemed that You Don’t Remember when I said Don’t Forget About Us. I once told myself that you will Always Be My Baby but it turned out to be a Fantasy. 

Do You Know Where we’re going to? I certainly don’t have a clue. Without You, Everything Fades Away and I’ve to give you up even if I still Can’t Let Go. I Don’t Wanna Cry … I just want to Make It Through The Rain and cease the pain. 

Hasta La Vista MyBaby … Last Kiss 4U. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Me,

Love Takes Time … It’s Like That. You’ll be together with your Dream Lover One Sweet Day. She may be a Heartbreaker years ago but she’s all you ever have that makes you want to Stay In Love. She’s that special someone whom you would love to call Sweetheart or just plain Honey … 

Do what it takes to realize this Vision of Love into a Love Story Someday. You can Make It Happen When You Believe in yourself. Never Forget You are your own Hero …

C’est La Vie

Alone ...

I just can’t stop bleeding for the last few months. Couple of my close friends keep leaving. They come and go just like a flowing river … no one stays for good. I don’t mind the distance but I do mind the silence after separation, eventually they'll fade away. I have to keep myself busy to disregard the misery within. All I want to do is to stop bleeding and start living. 

The truth is they weren’t meant for me from beginning. I was lying to myself. I wanted so much to be with whoever I thought would be ‘the one’, but none of them ever was. I even convinced myself that I’m capable to love them and be loved in return. But love was never there, it was more of a lie instead. I made myself believed they needed me when I’m the one who needed them the most. 

I’m not sure if I’ll find that someone in this life. Maybe I’m not capable to go through any kind of relationship. That’s why I’m not blessed with one yet. But I’m not willing to go through life alone. I really want someone to be there for me, someone who wants me as much as I want her. There’s no right or wrong, just as long as we can get along. What matters most is we both compliment each other. I pray someday ‘The One’ will come and lead me the way.

Dear Love, 

Come to me … Hold me close.

Take my hand … Never let me go. 

XOXO 

Celine Dion - Alone

I hear the ticking of the clock

I'm lying here, the room's pitch dark 

I wonder where you are tonight 

No answer on the telephone 

And the night goes by so very slow 

Oh I hope that it won't end though 

Alone 

Till now I always got by on my own 

I never really cared until I met you 

And now it chills me to the bone 

How do I get you alone 

You don't know how long i have wanted 

To touch your lips and hold you tight 

You don't know how long I have waited 

And I was going to tell you tonight 

But the secret is still my own 

And my love for you is still unknown 

Alone 

Till now I always got by on my own 

I never really cared until I met you 

And now it chills me to the bone 

How do I get you alone

Alone

MyBaby n Me ...

The first time I saw MyBaby 

MyBaby looks so pretty 

I can’t resist looking at MyBaby

Each time I glance at MyBaby

Her sweet smile greets Me 

MyBaby never fail to amaze Me 

Whenever I talk to MyBaby

Her kind words comfort Me 

With MyBaby is where I want to be 

Wherever I go with MyBaby

Everyone looks queerly at Me 

They wonder why MyBaby likes Me 

Spending time with MyBaby

Makes Me extremely happy 

My days no longer feel empty 

There’s nothing about MyBaby 

That makes Me feel uneasy 

Everything about MyBaby pleases Me 

Anytime MyBaby needs Me 

I’m there to care for MyBaby

I can’t see MyBaby in agony 

Sometimes I buy gift for MyBaby

To show how much MyBaby means to Me 

I just can’t stop loving MyBaby

At times MyBaby is mad at Me 

For taking things too seriously 

It’s only moments before MyBaby forgives Me 

There’s something about MyBaby 

That always drives Me crazy 

Until today it’s still a mystery 

One day I share secrets with MyBaby

It takes time but MyBaby still accepts Me 

Only then I trust no one but MyBaby

Now MyBaby has to leave Me 

But I can’t let MyBaby see 

Deep inside I’m in total misery 

I want MyBaby to stay with Me 

I can’t live without MyBaby

I wish MyBaby comes back to Me 

MyBaby said she’ll miss Me 

I can’t help but cried with MyBaby

Now I know MyBaby cares for Me 

I’m sorry if I was unfaithful to MyBaby

I never meant to hurt MyBaby intentionally 

MyBaby … please forgive Me 

I pray that MyBaby stays happy 

In my heart is where MyBaby will be 

All I ask is MyBaby to remember Me 

Take care MyBaby

Fear not MyBaby

‘WE’ will survive … trust Me  

I miss you MyBaby

I love you MyBaby

‘WE’ = MyBaby + Me

XOXO

Valentine, Valentine … Wherefore art thou Valentine?

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face … You Took My Heart Away 

That Vision Of You remains in my mind until today

Beautiful Girl … you’re a Masterpiece of art
You Paint My Love right from the start

I’ve Been Waiting For You … All My Life
Your Love Is the only thing that keeps me alive

I’ve loved you since The First Time I saw you
Everyday I Love You … This I Promise You

You Come To My Senses all along
Right By Your Side is where I belong

I can’t help but Dreaming Of You all the while
Memory of you makes the dream worthwhile

My Heart says that you’re My Boo
My Baby You … I Just Can’t Stop Loving You

Dewi … I Miss You so much my dear
I Still Believe that We Belong Together

All I Ask Of You is You Must Love Me
There’ll be A Time For Us someday … You’ll See

With or Without You … I will Wait For You
I Love You and I’ll Stand By You

I’ll be Kissing You one fine day
Ready Or Not … I’ll do it my way

Angel of Mine … you’re so divine
Would you be My Valentine?

I Adore Me Amor … Tu Amor

Ne Me Quitte Pas … A Puro Dolor